A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second, and stops the third.

#01 you can always lean on my shoulder!!

#02 moments we've been through. Knew you since we were sec 1.. But we don't really talk much coz you are 'cool' at first. But then, now we are way far closer than we can imagine.(: Love, TMF

#03 My 'master'. HEHE i'm his MARIA..:/  a very funny connection between you and I.
Through HIM and through HER , we get to know each other~

#04 where food is, where will i be.
My favorite!!! CHICKEN WINGS~~~

#05 group shot!
I'll definitely miss you, master lim. You are another person where I can share secrets to...
Take care!!!

#06 deco ingredients.. HAHA
lots of clips.....

#07 the before and after of my pretty wall!! It looks so much warmer and blissful now!!!
COME MY HOUSE AND FEEL THE HAPPINESS! HEHE :3

#08 In da class... waiting for my tutor to come back from the washroom.. a quick shot! HAHA

#09 da lunch time! + discussion from some presentation thingy..
lunch for the day : SNOWFLAKE..@@

My dear, I'm sorry if I actually hurt your feelings. I didn't wanna let you know the truth but.. I guess as a TMF, I should let you know. I know it will be very hurtful for you because I went through that as well. It's not easy to overcome because all it needs is TIME. Only way to make changes is through time itself. I know I can't help much, but I hope that whenever you need me, you can always phone me or ask me out since we stay nearby! I'll always be there for you~ 

You and I.. I don't think we can be couple coz you are not my cup of tea. At times, I thought you fell for me, your promises, your sweet talks, your thoughtful attitude..etc I know you wanna assure me how much you like me. But you are a little too flirty that I can't even distinguish whether you like me or not. Even you like me, I'll tell you once more, "Sorry, I'm not going to accept you because there is still a person living in my heart."

I'm wondering, will you be reading my blog? Hmm.. I guess not. Coz you don't even wanna talk to me anymore. As if i'm a ghost.>< We are like stranger now. You don't even appear online that often anymore. You never would have like my photos again. Things changed. A total changed. 360 degree changes. I tried very hard to start the first step, but you refused to talk to me. 

Music time!!

Here are some recommended songs from me, by One Directions and Cher Lloyd.(:

A 12 year-old girl is dating with her music mentor, whose age is 24. Hmm..

She has a good voice!! And very pretty ehh:P

Use your smile to change this world. Don’t let this world change your smile.

#01 my finally done 2011 + 2012 journal. Gonna continue doing it till the book has no more empty space. :D

#02 Hmm.. don't understand why can't I be a little pretty like you?:/People around always stare at you when we were outside.):

#03 sis, childhood friend and ME!

#04 a very elegant-pretty-pleasant-cute-joyful-sweet grandma I have in life!

#04 a very elegant-pretty-pleasant-cute-joyful-sweet grandma I have in life!

#05 3 generations in a row~ :D

#06 YEAPP!! the ladies again! HAHA how busy we were.. hmm.. you can imagine.. HAHA  


My classes resumed after a week of CNY holidays. Well, it was actually 5 days holiday, but i gave myself 9 days holiday!! HAHA alike i'm a government huh..@@ HAHA How bossy I am! Ngek ngek!! First day of ma class, apparently, no doubt, without fail, I was late for my morning 8am class coz,, I.. overslept.): Haiz. Why can't I overcome my bad habit!! People thought that I don't give a shit of my results.>< One of my friends said, "why you everyday party one, no need to study mehh?" when did i party everyday..?!?! :/  I'm just enjoying my life lorr... Don't waste every second mahh... Even that is a mistake?!? ))):

YEAHHH! I'm finally done with ma journal~~~ Has been abandoned 'her' for a year plus.. FINALLY!! HAHA How awesome it is to fill photos and words inside it! LOVE♥♥♥ I even put (us) inside the book coz you were part of my best memories!! At one point of time, I thought I'm going to marry you right after our university coz we were once make that as a promised. But then.. It's nothing now. Everyone has their dreams. Guess your dream doesn't involve me.. I just realized I played a wrong role. I shouldn't be a role of your friend, no wonder you don't wanna talk to me coz you are too comfortable being alone. I'm just the unnecessary one in your life I presumed.

Had CNY dinner with ma childhood friend. Hmm.. Has not been catching up with her for some weeks. Coz Kim and some of my bestie don't like her. So I rarely talked about her in front of them. Had our dinner at Royal Selangor Club. Fireworks everywhere coz bai tin gong.. The people been lighting fireworks till 5am..>< GOSHHH But I slept like a pig.><

Grandma's 85th birthday!!! How's many people can still live such a long life. I mean nowadays laa.. I'm proud to say that she's still strong and active!:D I love my grandma, LOTSSS!!! She treated me like a princess. She used to treat me lots of junk food~ She loves being with her grand children because she don't like being alone. She smiles when she gets to see us after school. But now she moved out with her eldest son. I rarely get to meet her, most probably once a week only. Miss her lots!!!):I love you grandma!!!♥♥♥♥♥ Hope you always stay healthy and joyful~ I hope that you can witness my wedding!! :P

Nowadays have been considering about my future after diploma. I've been struggling to stay or not to. I'm in a super contradict situation this period of time. Should I continue my advance diploma for only 1 year and 8 months? Plus 9 papers exemption for ACCA. Or Degree In Accounting at UK, Bath University for 3 years? Both of the places have it's pros and cons. Hmm.. Will give myself a 3 months break right after I graduate my diploma. Going to Australia coz I promised to visit all my friends. From Brisbane to Sydney, then to Perth, Melbourne, Adelaide, Tasmania..etc Many people to visit..>< HAHA (Aussie trip confirmed! Next year May-July). Then will be leaving to UK during August. (Only if I have decided to go) 

WOW! I was surprised that I'm not the only one in a relationship. I was stunt!!! Seriously sia...@@ You.. You.. I'll keep it as a secret.

*if we hasn't broke up, today is gonna be our 16 monthsary..))))))):

I MISS TOPSHOP!!!!!!!!

miss those songs i used to listen from topshop..><

LANA DEL REY!!

lately loved her songs and her fashion!!

A model for H&M.(:

she has a good voice and a pretty feature.(:

check out her songs!!!

LOVE IT ♥♥♥

The hardest part about going forward is not looking back.

猜不透
你最近是好是坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
但是他为彼此的戏上了锁
猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的 是热的
如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过
到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已经不想追求
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

明知道爱情并不牢靠
但是我还是拼命往里跳
明知道再走可能是监牢
但是我还是相信只是煎熬
朋友都劝我不要不要
不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑
但是做人已经那么累
假惺惺的想要逃
在爱里连真心都不能给
这才真的真正的可笑
爱得太真 太容易 让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易 不顾一切 满是伤痕
我太笨 明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身
但我相信有点可能
可能 在爱里面这样算笨
可能 永远没有所谓永恒
但是我 不愿放弃这里面一点点可能
宁愿笨也不想要悔恨

When I close my eyes think of you
And the time we’ve had been through
Even though were for apart right now
I remember back when you were here with me
How you’ve make my world complete
But now I’m left alone
We talked about love and hope
Wishing we could start a life our own
I wish that I could live without you
Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you’ll love me from the start
All those painful things you’ve put me through
But I’m still loving you
I’ve tried to give my best to you
I don’t deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I konw the truth behind the lies
Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you’ll love me from the start
All those painful things you’ve put me through
But I’m still loving you
I’ve tried to give my best to you
I don’t deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I konw the truth
behind the lies


Trying my very best to let go. But all i want to say is WHY IS IT SO HARD? WHY IS IT SO PAIN? WHY IS IT SO HURTFUL? Songs that can relate my emotions now. It's 2.42am now but i'm still so energize. Mind full of memories. An un-erase-sable memories of me and you. I tried. I'm trying. I know I have to let go. Because you have.

Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality,and likes that turned into love.

#01 me with le scary outfit.><

#02 a photo taken before dinner

#03 before dinner, craving for FOOOOOD!!

#04 my favorite cousin sis!!♥♥♥♥♥

#05 a wow photo! HAHA At first sight I thought I was in the airport.@@ LOL

#06 the dramatic princess! HEHE OMG. I looked so 欠打!!!BISHHH~~~

#07 thank goodness! I have FAT LEGS and I know it!!!!))):

#08 A lady-like dress, no suit me..><

#09 waiting for the boss to finish up his love letter to his beloved miss mysterious. 

#10 happy valentine's to all people in this universe! HEHE no matter you are single or not, you can have a memorable day!!! Coz I had, so do you?

#11 Birthday celebration for le princess frog!! HAHA @@

#12 I am the shortest..):

yoh!! i'm back after a week! HEHE :3 well, as you know this is CNY + valentine's month, so i'm gonna blog about my days!!! Love Chinese New Year! But frankly speaking, i love Christmas more! Coz everywhere filled with the 'very blissful' atmosphere. AWW so sweeeeeett RIGHT??!? HEHE♥ LOVE, LOVE! My very first day of CNY was pathetic coz i'm forced to wear cheong sam(tradition costume). I hardly walked properly like how i used to walk and the sitting posture!!! Goshhh!! very troublesome. But i personally felt that wearing cheong sam is pretty! Especially when you have a good body shape, tall, pretty legs. Well, sad to say i look horrible coz i neither have one of the traits...@@ So, CNY is all about food!! YEAPP~~!!! I think i gained weight~~~ LOTS OF WEIGHT...>< like 10kg? HAHA been eating crazily.. HAHAHA

3 days spent in dad's hometown. A summary for my 3 days 2 nights tour in temerloh. YEAP! All I did "day-night-food-visit-camwhore-sing k-sleep-play". Nat, sis and I, we had photo shooting moment!!! HAHAHAHA playful..@@ HEHEHE Nat gonna leave Malaysia to UK at least 2-3 years...): So I spent lots of time with her doing crazy stuff.. HEHE CAMWHORE is her favorite coz she wanna make an album about us~ HEHE good memories!! friends and etc, if you guys wanna contact me, do note that 'no whatsapp', 'no line', 'no wechat' is available currently coz it's under-repairing-fixing-mode. HAHA guess i can get back my phone after few weeks...:/ sad..):

After coming back from hometown, on wed, went to grandma's house for dinner. Then sing k session with le cousins till midnight! OH YEAHH~~ the growing up feeling is so awesomeee!!:D HAHAHA like you can hang out till late night~ HAHAHAHA Nat slept over. We had long talks for few nights.. Both of us anent to one another almost every night. When you can look for someone to talk to, it's better. At least you don't need to keep it in your heart. Heartache alone.:/ I'm glad that both of us going through the same thing. HAHA At least someone that can relate my situation. HEHE 

So, another year of valentine's day! YEAPPP!! A well spent valentine's with a bunch of new friends!(: travelling to klang, having good food, meeting new friends, giving a visit to friends house, looking at them gambling..etc HAHA They are nice people! HEHE :3 ♥'能做朋友是几身修来的福呀'♥ hmm.. this word really has it's reason weihh!!! TRUEEEE:D so trueeeee...@@ glad to meet everyone of you since my birth. 18 + years, met different people, it's really amazing! Fate that brought us together. I'll treasure every relationship!!!♥♥♥

Friday. Another day spent with people. YEAHHH!! Thank god i'm not staying at home all day long coz very very sien weih...@@ It'll drive people crazy when he/she is an outgoing person. Another sing k session with le drama friends! HAHAHA i know right... everyday sing sing sing... But i love it!!! HAHAHA next friday another singing session with friends~ WOOTS!! next week.. schedule fulled! HEHE Thurs: dinner with drama friends. Fri: sing k. Sat: back Kuen Cheng, celebrate CNY with le high school friends!!

Ehhh... Haven start doing my assignments...>< ALLAHHH!!! And having my first test on the coming Monday.:/ It's time to settle down my mood laa... STUDY MODE has to be switch on liawww...@@

How cool you are.. I guess I can figure out now. I didn't really know how much you dislike talking to me, until you said those words. And showing me how much you didn't want to know about my things at all. THANKS! I thought there is hope.. At least tiny bit of hope. But, well, I guess not anymore. Broken heart not once, not twice, nor thrice. I gave up, gave up for real. I have no more strength to give hope to myself coz they are all fake hopes.. Not anymore. I'm tired of the rejections. I didn't want to live a life filled with hurts and pain. It's time. Time to let go. A time to look forward. A time to prepare my heart. You and I, the past. 

Worry less. Smile more. Love life. Embrace change. 

 #01 lunch with le classmates at canteen 1

 #02 hmm.. outfit for the first day of school

 #03 yeappp!!! it's hui wai~ spent a short dinner time with her.((:

 #04 yohh!!! i5's camera is veryvery good!!! LOVE the clear-ness and the color~ so nice weihhh~~@@ HAHA 

#05 met my joo ern for breakfast, lunch with ze classmates

 #06 another of well spent with le loveliest!!!

 #07 my favorite watch.:/

#08 the day before reunion dinner (top left--- xi wen, me, chi ying, carmen, jazzlyn)

So a week of college has just ended. WOW. All i have to say is, time passes really really fast. just a blink and the first week has just gone like this. Well, it ended pretty hectic yet meaningful because i spent every minute with meaningful people. HAHA glad to say i have many more friends now? HAHA first day, hmm.. need some time to recall as many things had happen..? HAHA let me make a summary of my food session first. well, i had my breakfast and lunch with them EVERYDAY!!  <3 how sweet it was right? HAHA okayy, story for the week.


MON (4/2):
hmm.. proud to say that I'M NOT LATE for my first day of sem 3!! HAHAHA i remembered the first day of class of sem 2 i was late. NO! i slept late, didn't get to attend the first class.:/ HAHA yea, how lazy i am, i have to admit. HEHE =3= the very first day, tutors already let us know that week 3 we are going to sit for tests..>< OMG. why-so-fast-no-rest-for-me-at-all?? haiz.:/ YES, FOOD TIME! the canteen.. all i have to say is, it is packed like s***. OMG. can't manage to get a seat.@@ no food left some more...): sad HAHA but we had great talks!! HAHAHA girls talk is always the BEST!!! who call me so talkative.. talk-talk-talk!

TUES (5/2):
8am class, i super dislike..:/ but because it is basic taxation, so i am willing to wake up early morning. YEAHH!! my favorite tutor is going to be my lecture! HEHE love her. <3 this subject is the most toughest one, to me la. but i like it. guess it was pretty cool because it's a little regarding to law. well, it's government law la. those section 3, section 4...etc with sub (i)(a)... drive me crazy.. but i don't know why, i find it interesting.@@ HEHEHE class till 6pm. had dinner with my little cute friend hui wai at gardens.(: OMG. she's form 4 now. guess i knew her when she was form 2. time runs. HAHA i just can't believe i'm 19 now.:/ next year.. HAHA dream.. smash..@@

WED (6/2):  
See who i met? HEHE my 'little sheep' joo ern. the gentle-est girl i ever knew in my life!!!(: had breakfast with her in PJ. Both of us had been really busy, during the holiday, I didn't get to contact her. Well, thank god she has some time for me in the morning. Thank you for being there for me. I know you are going through tough time as well. Hope that you can let go of him as soon as possible and move on. You'll meet a better guy my dear~ HAHAHA after breakfast, i was late for my taxation tutorial..@@ aiks... luckily the tutor was kind enough to let me in. HEHE then lunch at mamak stall. I miss eating roti canai after my work with you.:/ 

THURS (7/2):
A heavy breakfast after BT lecture. Hmm.. YES! i gained weight!!! VERY FAT AAA!!!! OMG. I wanna get rid of those spare tyres..>< sad for one of my friend. She just broke up as well.:/ haiz.. why everyone also break up aa...?!? WHAT HAPPENED? hopefully she'll be fine as well. recently has been really awkward with my previous gang. Don't know why, I just don't like to be with them anymore. Guess we had some disagreements since the video filming and it lasted till now. But.. yea.. it's fine i guess because we still talk crap sometimes.(:

FRI (8/2):
Pink day is not co-incidence laa.. AWWW the sweet pink!! HAHAHAHAHA We planned to wear pink as chinese new year is coming, to embrace the new year~(: represent our love as well!! LOVE YOU GUYS my 'LALA LAND SUNSHINE GIRLS'. HEHE I know it's very weird with the name.. But i personally felt the name i created was pretty creative!! HAHA yeayea, i'm vain..@@ A photo took before we leave for CNY celebration! gonna miss you guys for that 9 days.@@ <3 OMG. stupid me!! my cellphone fell into the toilet bowl while i was in an 'urgent'situation. i left my phone behind of my jeans pocket then it fell inside!!! that moment i stunt, "JESUS!!". Used my bare hands dipped into the water and grabbed my phone!!! OMGGGG.>< Now, the phone is DEAD.@@ feel like crying man.@@ haiz. I just got my phone and it's DEAD now.:/ WTH!!!! a night spent in my cousin sis's house! went for a movie at viva. watched the wedding diary II.. hmm.. it's boring..@@ And we did a BIG project! HAHA  YES!!! we succeeded!(:


For you:
I wanted to talk to you so badly. Wanted to ask, 'how have you been' 'how are you' 'what are you doing'. But i know you wouldn't reply. I'm sorry that i disturbed you for the several days. I'm so used to receive your texts and calls everyday. But now, everything changed just too fast, i need some time to get use of it. Moments with you is still so clear inside my mind. I miss us.): Hope you are fine. I'm trying my best to move on. The more busy I am, the better I am.

Friends asked, 'why didn't you wanna cry in front of us?' 'why you don't show your sadness to us?' 'why you can still laugh so happily like nothing has happen?'

Why should I? I don't need to show people how sad I am right? I don't find any use of crying in front of others, or even get your sympathy. But I want to let you know that, smile and laugh doesn't mean I'm happy. It's just the best way to cover my sadness.