Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful.



Sorry, please bear with my laziness. I'm just way too lazy to write the whole long shit of grandmother stories of myself here. So here is a short summary of it! (':I just can't believe I hasn't been updating my blog for 2 months. I've been slacking here and there everyday!!! >< Sorry to my fans.@@ HAHAHAHA jkjk *there's only 2 or 3 if i'm not mistaken that usually read my posts*

I've been missing you so badly ever since you left to UK. HAIZ. Why can't I just go with you...??? Life been so miserable but thank God there is still good times at some point of time~ So I think I should be thankful at least? HAHAHA Have been contact with you through email and line only... Didn't even manage to talk face to face.:/ Hmmm.. You are enjoying the 4 seasons, yet I'm still her suffering with 2 seasons!!:/ OHHH!!! So good!!! HAHAHA :D Wishing you to meet more hot guys there so that can intro some to me~~ HAHAHA <3 jkjk

Woots!!! Cousin's wedding~ The family reunited.(: We hardly reunite even during Chinese New Year because everyone is way too busy nowadays. So, it's kinda lucky that we were able to meet one another and spent such memorable night together. Years has gone by so fast that we didn't even notice our age has grown double. HAHAHAHAHA I'm turning 20 next year!!! MANNN!!! Which was my dream age to get marry..@@ HAHAHA *feeling-stupid-about-my-past-dream* :3 :3 Ever since I left drama club, I've not been taking off my specs. HAHA And for long hours, I guess it was my first attempt. My relatives can't even recognize me... LOL Seriously that big difference? I look so bad with specs on mehhh? HAHAHA I look horrible without specs, my eye bags and dark circles.. GOSHHH!!! HORRIFYING...><

Well, this was one of the hang out during one of the past week. A long day I shall said. Why my friend look for skinny and pretty?? Aikzzz... It shows how big difference between us....))': HAHAHA me, DREADFULLY SHORT and UGLYYYY~~~~ ALLAHHH~~~)': HAHAHA but yea, she is pretty! Undenial~ :P 

You just can't resist good food especially dessert~~~ HAHAHA 

The best time in life I would always say the same --- MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE! Definitely it was!!! I miss you guys sooooo much!! Eeeee... Sad sad..@@ Why can't we meet as often as before??? Going through so much ups and downs recently... Been undergoing lots of stories of life.Part of growing up, I can't choose..@@ Waiting for the other two (Shook Cheeng --- Beijing, Chirawann --- Bangkok) to come back, so we can reunite again during December!!! Can't wait can't wait~~~ Have been waiting for this opportunity since months ago~~~ COME BACK QUICK ALL MY BABES!!! <3

HAHAHAHA sometimes you just have to put some ugly photos on blog to show how crazy you can be? HAHAHA :D One of my close friend came back from Australia. Well, it was a fine meeting. Lots of stories been told and memories been flipped through. Time flew like rocket. You went to take foundation beginning of the year, and yet, now you've graduated. LOL why so fast?  I know how tired and stressed out you have been in Aussie. It's good for you to come back, then further your studies in UK. At least, it's so called a 'NEW START'. I don't know how to help you and cheeng because both of you meant a lot to me. One is my SBFF, another one is my close friend. I can't side on anyone right? It isn't fair too to stand on who's side. So, I choose to not involve between you guys. Hopefully the both of you can sort out yourself.(:


I've been falling for someone that I think I shouldn't. I don't know. I kinda find it confusing between our relationship. It's like... you think the relationship is working well, but it isn't that way.. I don't know la. But..  it looks complicated..@@ I tried not to bother, not to care. But the more I wanna avoid, the harder it ended up.@@ !!!! ARGHHHH~~~>< It was embarrassing that I did the confession...>< But since I've already did that, I can't take back my words right? Well, but I do fall for him. I'm just so worry it's not gonna work well, and I'll end up like my past experience. *CONFUSION & LOST*

xoxo

Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big. DREAM BIG!

After a long long long break! There you go a post for people whom loves reading my blog. HEHE :3 Given myself a 2 months break of not writing blog (excuse of my laziness & motivate-less), and now, I'm back!! I, now can look into eyes of people and tell them I'm moving on. In the bright side, I'm having a new start, putting things aside, doing something right; but in the bad side, I think I'm not loyal enough? I'm sorry I didn't fulfill the promised of waiting for you till we graduate. It's tiring for the person who waits. It's kinda useless ever since I know I'm holding on something isn't going to work on anymore. You were the one treated me like a stranger, LIKE NOBODY TO YOU.:/ At times, persistence isn't something right to apply on some specific situation.

Well, for not writing anything since the past 2 months, kinda guilty looking at my blog. Sorry blog, you looked really dry and lonely. HAHAHA I'm now going to recall some memories of  the month JULY & AUGUST. Okay, so July, is MY month!! HAHAHA *so call la* coz it's my birthday. So the entire month is mine..:D HEHEHE :3 Had birthday celebration with one of my SBFF!! I still remember last year how you guys celebrated my birthday (included you). Hmmm.. TIME PASSES, EVERYTHING CHANGED ALL IN A SUDDEN. It was saddening how things changed. You couldn't do anything about it, but to embrace it and grow. I'm accepting the fact that nothing will remain the same. Even if someone say he/she is going to love you forever, never trust that! Because ETERNAL doesn't exist in this world. Being strong is not a one day thingy, I felt like.. as time went by, when you've been through a lot, you'll be stronger day by day. Perhaps, I'm being mold in this way. Second celebration was with my classmates~ *feeling loved and blessed* Got lots of birthday gifts. AWWW.. so sweet of you guys!!!! THANKIEWWW SO MUCHHH! <3


I've been waiting to watch The Conjuring before I had my finals. But till now I still haven't watch.. Failed me...>< HAHAHA For the past months, I only watched Percy Jackson I guessed. *if I'm not mistaken*

What have been helping me during my difficult times? HAHAHA food of coursee!!! Indulged in sweetness & delicious food everyday~~~ :D

Zakiya!!!! Feeling really upset knowing that you'll be leaving in 3 weeks time. OHH MAII!!!! I just can't believe that you'll be leaving me for at least 2 years. I'm gonna be really sad thinking how hard we are not being able to meet each other anymore.:/ I'll always keep you in mind yea!! Love!!! I think among all cousins, we both are the best~ The closest and the 'intimatest'.. HAHAHA How much we've been through since this year, only you and I can relate. We promised, before you leave to UK, we have to let go the past, and light the Chinese Lanterns *孔明灯*..(: I think it's time for us to do it!!! :3 I love you zakiya! Take care and I shall visit you next year in London, xoxo

My year 2 sem 1 has officially ended 2 weeks ago after my finals. Frankly speaking, it was the toughest among so many semesters. I took hours and days to do revision though is kinda last minute, I took lots of time to revise on them. And I think I kinda turned insane as the things to memorize and understand is way too much for me to absorb all in a week. But then, I did try some ways to cope with my stress which is baking cookies. Even though it didn't turn out well.. HAHAHA But I had lots of fun playing them! I don't dare to see my results.>< Aikzz.. Not to mention or think about it first since I'm having my sem break now. Should really have fun instead of stressing about the results.@@ WEEE!! Tomorrow gonna leave~ See you guys in a month later.((: 

Guess who I met yesterday(Saturday) in Midvalley? HAHAHA both my favorite Indonesian juniors~~ HEHEHE :3 How adorable they look right? HEHEHE :3 Definitely will miss them after their SPM.:/ Take care aaa!!! And also please do well in your accounts and economics. HAHAHA <3

Meet you guys in 1 month later.(:

xoxo

The hardest part about going forward is not looking back

痛要痛到什么程度才算是有资格被安抚?
并不是我喜欢孤独，只不过我比较忍得住..

爱要爱到什么地步才能够 有资格去痛哭?
既然已经各走各路倒不如为单身而欢呼?

爱到结束差点忘了复原的天赋..
没人帮助，要懂得自己找药水和胶布..
难免回顾分手原来不是谁被谁辜负..
可惜了这幸福，我还值得被祝福?

给要给到入不敷出才知道爱的一塌糊涂..
既然没有更好出路，倒不如 转身鞠躬谢幕?

爱到结束 差点忘了复原的天赋
没人帮助 要懂得自己找药水和胶布
难免回顾 分手原来不是谁被谁辜负
可惜了这幸福
我还值得 被祝福

爱让我们变得比单身愚笨，也让我们拥有从未的完整..
问也不问就越陷越深..
如果不是那个吻，那年会更冷.:/

相信变成了某种特殊天分，缘分只是自欺欺人的天真！
想念总是在夜里狂奔，特别想他着魔的眼神.><

好难得你遇见了对的人，

难得你很认真不想太多去奋不顾身；

好难得 你爱上了对的人，

可惜他不是你的可能

我们都曾以为爱就像清晨.. 
原来最难挨过的竟是黄昏.><
我们都爱过某个诗人，可是诗人也是平凡人....

好难得我们遇见了对的人，
难得好几辈子的好运才有机会完成..
好难得我们爱上了对的人，就算他不是到最后的人也祝他更勇敢爱别人......

音乐停止了，引擎熄火了，窒息的温柔，尖锐得赤裸..
一刀一刀往我心上割，往伤口里戳，那么折磨，为了什么?

再痛的痛苦泪水换不回 一点点感动，我不怪你不是你的错..
再深的深情容忍也不能让你再爱我，我不怪你不是你的错..

我的世界没有你，也许更辽阔..
就到这里 错了又如何......?

很想就这样磨掉过去的回忆，可是我做不到..

越是想逃避，越是要忘记，越是想放下，就越记得，还拼命地提醒...

Is this a psychology or something?

The more I tried to keep things aside, the more I make myself busy, it doesn't help.

I just can't move on.

是对我的折磨么? 因为过去我对你的不好?

如果这样你比较好受，那我只好承受这一切...

多希望我们的承诺可以继续实行..

多希望累了的时候，有你在身旁...

还记得你说我们要快乐...
每当我笑了，心却是狠狠地哭..
请你给我一个忘记的理由...
曾经那么爱我的你，给我一个理由放弃..
当时做的决定，到底是为什么?
为什么这么突然?
为什么这么坚决?
到底是为什么?

有些爱，越想抽离，越更清晰..
而最痛的距离是你不在身边，却深藏在我心里...:/
当我走在我们曾经去过的每个地方时，总会想起以前的我和你..

很害怕有一天当我们碰面，你会忘了我...

就这样擦肩而过...

你会认得我么5年后?

你还记得我是你的初恋么?

你还会记得我们曾经的承诺么?

现在都不敢奢望再爱上一个人，因为爱很难..

因为很痛苦..

我怕..

我担心会重蹈覆辙..

我没有以前的勇气了...

Strive for progress, not perfection.

I was trying out the easiest yet prettiest presentation page~ But I couldn't paste it on blog. So I just have to recopy the same thing here.:/ Do take a look and try this! It's easy to create your own presentation now.(: You can even add videos, background music to makes your presentation looks better and nicer!

Come and view my first presentation! TEEHEEE :P
http://prezi.com/rp4ph3zwv2h1/present/?auth_key=0pg90ag&follow=alntra7zhjvy&kw=present-rp4ph3zwv2h1&rc=ref-45874761#122_20166879

*If you have read the presentation, there's a slight difference from my blog.*

The weather has been really hazy. All you can see is just gloomy and dim skies. Malaysia has been mostly covered by thick smog (except Sabah and Sarawak). You hardly can see the view of KL.:/ It has been like this for several days, yet, it hasn't been better.): Instead, it has become worst. Worst worst then everrr!!! Klang which is the area that caught the most smog, it headed to 400++ API. It's super duper dangerous for health. 


*P/S reminder to all Malaysian's, you are require to put on mask to avoid getting sick.

For the past 2 weeks, I was really busy with my midterms which I usually known them as tests. I don't know what happened to me, but.. My mind doesn't seems to work properly. I have no spirit to go college, I have no motivation to study...etc I feel like I'm like a zombie. Going to college for the sake of my attendance. I have no idea what's going on with me. Well, frankly speaking, I even doubt my ability of taking up accounting course. I'm so lost that I don't even know what should I do next.>< I haven't been putting effort in my studies nor other activities. I'm just living decadently day by day. At this point of time, I felt so worthless and helpless. Don't know where should I start, how should I start or maybe what should I start with.@@ Papers have been returned to us, and obviously, the 'no-effort-given' will result as 'low-marks-getting'. HAIZ. I felt so ashamed facing people. Now, the super low-esteem, I hardly can get rid.:/ My results embody how I have been living decadently for the past months. Feel like screaming 'WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW???' The very first step is always the key point that leads to the end. Whether to succeed or not it matters with the first step and the overall effort. 

Ya Qin and I have decided to start our revision right after she's back from Korea trip. Wish her all the best for her press conference there representing Malaysia for 'The Face Shop' product.(: To ensure myself to have consistent revision, I create a study plan which I strongly thinks that it might help. *HOPEFULLY* [I wanna have the burning       fire in me which I used to have those days for accounting.]



Our first SBFF gang trip was last year December, went to Penang. So long already... should really plan something out to spend together at least. Since cheeng has settled down, we are going to look for her next year!!! Here we come Beijing~

Was looking through some of my photos last week because I wanted to tag my drama coach. Then I saw these pictures! AWWW. I miss drama so much!!! All my lovely members who participated in my drama I felt really honored and blessed being with you guys. The hard work has paid off and I'm really proud to have you guys accompanying me during the hard times. I know how strict and fierce I was towards you guys. I'm really sorry about that. But I'm thankful that how you guys been doing so well in the show. And that gave us a really big affirmation which is the certificate and prizes. The best actor and actress, best directors, best drama performance, best script..etc. It's all worthwhile.(: Thankiewww!!! :D

Last week celebrated mom's birthday with le two cousin sisters in Soho KL, Mont Kiara Solaris. Had our favorite Korean cuisine. Highly recommended --- Apgujeong. There's a few famous Korean restaurant located at Solaris. Such as Daorae, Little Korea, Bonga..etc They are all thumbs up!!!                            If you love korean food, give it a try!(: Time spend with families and friends are awesome the best moment! Promote a little bit of Apgujeong. The service there is good. Side dishes are unique.:3  Here are some photos of the ladies!!

Coincidentally bumped into 2 girls yesterday while I was on my way to meet Debbie. Guess who? Teck Kuan's cousin sis. Before he left, how I wish I can bump into him and at least take a few seconds to stare at him, but.. it didn't happen. The day you leave, I thought, the very least you would text me a message and let me know that you are leaving. I waited, but none of a message I received was from you. The disappointments.. If avoiding me is what you want, fine then. I'll wait till the day you wanna talk to me. 

One of the best korean songs I've ever listened. I really wish time travels back. I wish we can start all over again. I wanna erase the hurts I have done to you. I wish everything is pleasant. I wish we were back together. There's many 'I wish'.. But you have told me many times that you are not going to turn back. ): Not even once? Holding on to this hope because I believed there is miracles. As long there is hope, there is a future. Isn't? Fake hopes are hopes too. I believed as time passes, things would be alright. Should make a video of me playing this song someday.(: Stay tuned. 


A song dedicate to you though I know you might not read my blog anymore.

xoxo

If you are facing a hard decision, try to flip a coin coz when the coin is in the air, you'll suddenly know what you're hoping for.

#01 a funny result potrait. HAHAHA

Tuan!! Why you took it so seriously??? HAHAHAHA funny weih you. How do I dare to stole you from Puan. HAHA well, it was just plainly a random result from facebook. Please don't take it personally. Btw, hope to see you soon since you will be back on 17th which is TODAY! :D

#02 ootn for le teatime performance. I missed my drama days!!!! Preparation for teatime and stuff...:/

Went for a drama competition last Friday. I missed drama a lot!!! Missed those hectic days where I used my time only for DRAMA!!! Preparation for script, preparing props, acting rehearsal again and again, stayed up late night just to think where it went wrong...etc The hard work, the bonding, the moment.. I missed!!! :/ I can flashback those moments where I felt really proud of myself and my team members! You guys really did an awesome job! <T.WE> that was our act's name. Creativeeee :3 And yea, the story truly enough was about television. HAHAHA I wanna re-watch it!!! With that performance, I got the best director~ WEEHEEEE :P That are the memories you couldn't wipe off~ It's meaningful and it was part of my life. 

#03 on the way back to dad's hometown + few shots with le groofie! HAHA kinda stupid i know... HEHE:3

Well, not to focus on my cleavage though I know it's rather bones than cleavage laaaa.. HAHAHA pretend it is!!! HAHAHA>< The 'waaaa! Groofie lehhh' expression makes me feel so childish...@@ HAHAHA but, yea, I'm just being myself. Being like a kid is much better. At least you have no worries. Nothing to care much besides eat and sleep...@@

#04 sum up the day. (Last saturday)

Le very cute nephew's 1 year old birthday~~~ CUTEEEE :3 I told him I'll wait for him till he grow up then I'm going to marry him!!! HAHAHAHA stupid..>< 

#05 me in the hospital, visited an uncle of mine after his brain surgery. #MAYGODBLESSYOU

Went to visit cousin sister's dad. He got a tumour in his brain due to the cancer cell spread from his lung. OMG. Doctor said he's not going to live long...>< Haiz. Life is just short enough.

Well, I know my photo doesn't suit the whole situation, but.. let's think positive. HEHEHE :3

#06 playing with effects. :D

Trying out with cool effects. I realize those people very pro ehh can design those special effects~ Me without using computer then can edit photos!!! AWESOME~(Y) coz my computer skills SUCKS HELL! LOL 

#07 outfit for the musical performance. -___________- hmphh!! other's wore so formal, like attending some prom or wedding function...>< but me..@@

 Wearing a white floral sky blue dress, looking like a young lady. HEHEHE the feminine side of me~ TEEHEEEE :P

#08 a beautiful father's day night filled with sweet voices singing Teresa Teng's songs! BRAVOOOO!!! (:

A video from ask.fm, sort of Q&A session and about the prank called.:X HAHAHA

So I assumed this is the day where you longed for yet I'm avoiding for.. Such big contrast. But I know I couldn't do anything besides letting it go. After today, everything is gonna be a new start to you and to me. :/ 

xoxo

Each second that passes another moment to turn it all around.

Part I - weekends getaway to Port Dickson.

#01 The apartment view --- The Regency, Port Dickson. 4 Bedrooms.

#02 Day 2 ootd.

#02 Jumped shot 2. :3

#04 Le me in floral white long dress.<3

#05 Jumped shot day 3.

#06 posing here and there. 

#07 you hardly can see such beautiful scenery in the city.:P

#08 Last day, yet well spent in the beach.(:

#09 I love the breeze that blew my hair messy~ *shuuuuu*
Random videos for PD trip:

Part II - weekends getaway to Janda Baik

#10 My pretty shadow!!! :3

 #11 Organic Farm in Janda Baik

#12 Le sis and I!! :D

#13 A place where i wish to stay called heaven.(: With love, peace and harmony.

Video for JB:

Some random photos for the past weekdays.

Summary for my past 2 weeks.

Life has been pretty hard on me since the beginning of the year. I don't know why, but I think God is trying to mold me I guess...? Things weren't going smoothly and I'm not really fine as I seemed to be on the surface. I'm so done weeping my heart out over someone who chose to walk away from my life. I have lost someone who was once so dear to me, but all in a sudden, I have nothing left about you. Not even a single news from you.:/  Guess hitting rock bottom is just one of the many setbacks you'd have to face in life before you get back up become even stronger than before.

Really tension with those scary driving lessons though I had only 4 lessons.@@ Why driving so difficult? I felt really tension + stress while driving. My arms and hands are stiff. I can't even listen what my coach talked...>< Damn lost....T.T HAHAHAHA Bear with my very blur attitude. HEHEHE :3 I can imagine how much effort he needs for me compared to others just to teach me some driving skills. Guess I increased some of his white hair...>< *I'm really sorry* Tomorrow is going to be my exam day!!! GOSHHHH~~~ Such scary moments.... I just couldn't imagine how tomorrow is going to end up....:/ *GODBLESSME-GODBLESSME-GODBLESSME* I presumed I'll have a sleepless night...): The nervous-ness...etc OMGGGG.. I'm having a stomach cramp...>< *trying to calm myself down* *heart beats faster when the time draws closer*

I just realized people used to be very important in my life started leaving one by one... They are heading somewhere they plan/wish for their future benefits... Well, I'm gonna graduate as well next year, so there is nothing to envy about. HAHAHAHAHA Isn't easy to study.. Yet, it's not too tough. I don't aim high, but I have certain expectations for myself. Never ever look down on my ability! I play hard, but at the same time, during exam period, I do part, I study hard!!! You don't play, it's your choice, please don't judge my lifestyle!


Browse through 'see friendship' from Facebook.
And I saw this about us.:/

"Charmaine Kok 穗祺posted toTeck Kuan Low

October 23, 2012

happy 1 year anniversary!!!!!!!!
OMG.
time passes really really fast~~~
we started like few days ago..
HAHAHA
remembered Nydeaa Tan and Yoong Sue Ann was there...@@
LOL
OMG.
SPM were over...
your finals are ahead...
then you will be heading to overseas..
WOW!!!
everything just come so fast.....
or my pace too slow sia....???
HAHAHA
till now, my heart is still beating so so so fast when i wanna see you...
when i know i'm gonna meet you for breakfast or lunch or dinner or movie or even just a short hi and bye session...
1 year is nothing long coz i'm waiting for many 1 year to go!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your LOVE  since PRIMARY DAYS!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
♥♥♥
and i believe it will never fade?
HAHAHA
till we get marry...
till we have our children...
till we get old...
and till we die?
(:
LOVE YOU BABY!!!
♥♥♥"

We were once having lots of promises. But it didn't happen.

xoxo